Tuesday's Tips

Balancing Life as a Coach's Wife

Dr. Felicia Boyd

Today's Tuesday's tips comes from another one of my college BFF's. We met in college and have remained close ever since. Felicia has been an educator for over 20 years. She is currently an elementary school principal in Missouri.  I've also had the privilege of knowing her husband, Ramone almost as long. Felicia and Ramone met in college and have a beautiful family. In the spirit of football season, I wanted to hear first-hand from her what it's like to walk in the shoes of a wife of a high school football coach.

As the parent of two student athletes, I have gotten a front row seat to what I can imagine what it is like being the wife of a coach. Sometimes I cringe at some of the things I hear in the bleachers/field targeted at the coach. As parents, we have to remember that the coach is a human being and most times, has a wife and children. Throughout the years, I have learned to bridle my tongue. I try to put myself in the shoes of not only the coaches, put the families who sacrifice for the betterment of our sons/daughters.

1)      Tell us about your family

We are family of four.  We have a son Ramone II who is 12 years old and a 7^th grader who is very active in sports.  We also have a 9 year old daughter, Symone who is a 4^th grader and involved in dance as well as a variety activities at school.   Ramone and I have been married for 15 years.

2)      How long has Ramone been a coach? What team(s) has he coached for?

Ramone has coached for well over 20 years.  Football is his number one sport he coaches.  He has coached recreational football at Herbert Hoover Boys and Girls club for many of those years.  Currently he coaches high school football and baseball as well as our son’s baseball team for the last eight years.

3)      What is the hardest thing about being a coach's wife?

The hardest thing about being a coach’s wife is there is a lot of time sacrificed away from the family.  He has made adjustments in his schedule as our own children have gotten older, however it is hard to schedule family events due to practice and game schedules to work around.

4)      What impact has Ramone's job as a coach had on your children's experience w/playing sports? (advantages versus disadvantages of having a dad as a coach)

The impact has been a positive one especially for our son.  He is now very involved in sports and has a passion for baseball and basketball.  The advantage that Lil Ramone has had as having his dad as a coach is that he is able to process with him after a game and talk through what he needs to do for the next game or reflect about what went well and what he needs to work on.  I wouldn’t say that he has had any disadvantages having his dad coach.  Symone is growing in her involvement with the sports, however it’s still not her favorite thing.  We try to make the sporting events a family thing as much as possible so we are all together and spending time together.  

5)      What advice would you give to other wives of coaches?

As  a coach’s wife you need to be very secure and have a great relationship with your husband.  You need to be understanding that he is making an impact on many children’s lives.  My children and I are sharing their dad with other kids.  He is not only an influence in our home, but to many other kids outside of our home.  I have been blessed that my kids are very understanding of that and have welcomed other kids to have a relationship with their dad.  I have to be understanding that some of these kids come from single parent homes and some are moms doing this by themselves.  Ramone has to balance a professional relationship with these mothers and I have to know and trust that it is just that, professional.  He has done a good job of balancing it all.

I believe it is a team effort and both parties have to have a common understanding and respect for each other for the relationship to sustain.

Until next time, thank you for stopping by....